Tuesday, October 18, 2011

so, to continue with that thought . . .

As long as I'm talking about training for 5Ks, and being overweight, I might as well share something else that's been on my mind lately.

Last week, we had family pictures taken.

I was hesitant to do so.  I mean, to be perfectly honest and more open than I generally am here, I'm not all that confident or pleased with the way my body looks at this particular moment in my life.  In saying that, I don't mean to be ungrateful.  My body works marvelously, and I'm lucky to have it.  However, I haven't been as careful with what I've been putting into my body as I should, particularly considering the fact that I'm not twenty-two anymore, and have the metabolism of the forty-year-old that I am.

So, at the moment, I don't feel particularly breathtakingly beautiful.  I don't feel hideous, or awful, or discouraged beyond repair, but I don't feel all that pretty, and as I was contemplating the whole family picture thing, I wondered if I really wanted to have a film-record of our family (and more specifically me) right now.

But, I determined that it was okay.  I mean, Heather is only going to be three years old for a little while.  Sure, Eric and I look decidedly middle-aged, and somewhat pudgy, but a big part of that is the fact that we  are middle-aged.  Furthermore, as I reasoned to myself, I may not look my very best, but I'm already walking around my life looking like this for anyone to see.  In light of that, why should I let some extra pounds stop me from getting a record of the joy that is our family is right now?

So, photographer recommendations were sought (I was looking for that magical intersection of talent and frugality), and a photographer was chosen.  We donned complemenary outfits and drove up the canyon, where Jennifer Bryner was waiting, camera in hand.

She was marvelous.  






I'm so glad that we did it.  I'm so glad that I didn't let my own insecurities keep us from going forward.  It's true that there are shots that give me a little bit of heartburn regarding my own appearance (the two right above, for example).  But on the whole, the overwhelming feeling I get from these pictures is happiness.  I feel that they capture our family as we are right now.  Very happy, enjoying life, a little cheesy, and absolutely blessed.  Life's too short to wait for it to be picture perfect, you know?


Of course (as we see with this shot), there's always the chance that a life that you think isn't picture perfect, turns out to be precisely that.  Isn't it nice when it works out that way?



Bamamoma said...

LOVE that last one (and the others).

Carol said...

I absolutely love how candid you are with us and that you do not let your worries stop you from doing fun things like this. Thank you, once again, for being you!

I love all the pictures. Heather's personality sure shines through on these. I love the one of the 3 of you walking away and her looking back - just like she is too curious to not look - and confident enough to walk away with the two of you.

Like Heidi - I love the last one. All of your personalities are shining there. Tell Jennifer I say 'Bravo'!

Melissa @ Happy Quilting said...

Love these pictures. And I agree with Heidi, the last picture is phenomenal!! So perfect!!!

ShaLiece said...

Now...my turn. These ARE perfect! You found such a talented photographer! Glad that you did it.
That Heather is such a cute gal! She'll be bee-ute-ee-ful one day!

I didn't get to say my goodbyes yesterday at State, but thank you again for always supporting us, particularly Kaylee!

jen bryner said...

wow. i'm truly almost speechless! it was such an honor to get to photograph your family charlotte :) one of my favorite things about this hobby of mine is meeting new people and making such great friends. it means the world to me that the photos made you so happy!! it was great that you were all willing to show your quirky sides...and in my opinion those were the best pictures. i printed this whole blog post so i can put it in my journal! thank you, with all my heart, for all the comments and positive messages. it is a blessing to me every time i get to share in something as personal as family photos and i am forever grateful. :)

Teresa said...

I love these pictures of your family and I find the post particularly touching. I want to preface what I say next with a strongly stated, "I love my Mom and she is awesome." However, I have many memories from my childhood of my mom sitting on the sidelines while we did family activities because she wasn't happy with her appearance (swimming in particular). I also recall that we went many years without a family photo for the same reason (so many years, in fact, that we had to paste my little brother into the previous photo--he looks like an odd angel hovering above us). I really didn't think it was so odd back then, but as I relate to life as an adult, it breaks my heart that my sweet beautiful Mom let so much of her life be dictated by how she thought she "should" look. I even think that it led to the situation becoming worse for a time. I've used that as motivation to make myself put on a bathing suit and turn a deaf ear to any real or imagined backlash.

Anyway--what I'm wanting to say and not saying very well is bravo to you for moving past your insecurity and discomfort. You will be so glad that you did every time you look back at these cute pictures. I think you are beautiful!

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