Tuesday, June 02, 2009

well, if you really want to know . . .

In the comments to my last post, Jeff (see tangents below) mentioned that he favors the old "high-powered nerve spray" method of dealing with wasp control over the "bright yellow cylinder of death" method that I espouse.

I want to be clear and say that I do use wasp spray as an additional line of defense against my yellow striped enemies. However, unlike Jeff, who enjoys watching them fall, twitching all the way to the ground, I find that witnessing this often strikes me with a certain amount of irrational fear.

Often, as I watch my victim writhing around, my old friend, the overactive imagination kicks in, and I wonder if this is the wasp, the one X-Men-esque wasp that has finally evolved to the point that my weapon will only stun him, (kind of like those super germs that can now withstand many variations of antibiotics, you know?) and then, when my back is turned he will leap back to full health and vigor and come after me with stinger poised for battle again.

Except this time, he'll have brought his friends with him.

I won't have a chance.

It's a bit frightening.

And this is why I refuse to ever watch Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds ever ever ever again.




Tangents:

If you're trying to find Jeff in the comments, you'll need to know that his google name is something in German that starts with a "d" and ends with something like "-lander".

I don't speak or write German (obviously), and I am too lazy to go back and copy the name from the comments.

Unless I am mistaken, Jeff started his German-learning journey in a high school class taught my my very own Uncle Jeff.

Now he (Jeff my friend, not Jeff my uncle) is employed at UVU in Orem, where I believe he is the head of the foreign language department there.

Jeff (again friend, not uncle) and I ran around together (figuratively and literally-we were both on the cross-country team) in high school. A few years later, he married another one of my friends that I used to run around with (both figuratively and literally).

I've loved having some of my guy friends marry some of my girl friends. It makes them all so much easier to keep track of, you know?







5 comments:

Tasha said...

I thoroughly enjoyed this post especially because I too took German from your uncle/my cousin Jeff and keep up with the other Jeff who I didn't know in high school, but enjoy the humor of your friend/my brother-in-law.

As a side note, I find it incredibly comforting that there is someone else in this family - even if I have to leap a branch or two - who creates all sorts of stories and crazy possibilities during the mundane chores or assasinations of life :)

Charlotte said...

"mundane chores or assasinations of life"

I just may have to use that phrase as a post title one of these days.

Classic!

Harmony said...

What an entertaining blog you have Charlotte! As familiar as I am with the principal characters, I couldn't keep from chuckling at this post. One correction though--Jeff (your friend) is the German section head rather than the foreign language department head. He would no doubt enjoy the pay of that position, if not the responsibility for all those other foreign languages.

amy greenway said...

We have an inordinate number of wasps here. People talk about them all the time. Most converstations go kinda like this: weather, the economy, wasps, closing salutation.

I loath them.

Love the addition of the "signature."

deutschlehrer said...

Wow! I get referenced in Charlotte's blog! My 15 minutes of fame have arrived!!

I have often thought the same thing about the mutant wasps coming after me--usually quadrupled in size due to the effects of the spray. For me it is part of the experience-and always such a pleasant relief when the twitching stops and I survive victorious once again. --of course there will be that one time. . .

By the way, My username means German teacher, is all Jeff (your uncle's) fault, and not only am I the head of the German section at UVU, I am the German section at UVU.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...