Sunday, June 21, 2009


"The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God's commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force."
-(The Proclamation on the Family, 4th paragraph)

To elaborate on my feelings about this statement, I'll let you in on a little secret. When I stopped taking the pill, Eric and I weren't all that keen on becoming parents.

We had both been christened favorite aunt/uncle by many of our respective nieces and nephews, and we were getting quite a bit of fulfillment from that. Add that to the fact(s) that we were having a whole bunch of fun spending time together, that we weren't sure how long it would take Eric to finish his degree, and we didn't feel ready or qualified to be parents, and it all added up to a general feeling of not wanting to rush into parenthood.

But, we reasoned that one day we might find that we would want children of our own, and since it took us so (freaking) long to find each other, we really didn't have the luxury of waiting around until everything in our lives had settled down and we felt ready for kids. Then too, there was this commandment to multiply and replenish the earth.

As it turned out, we took a few months to enjoy and get used to being married to each other. Then, after some prayer and discussion, we decided that it was time. Not necessarily time to try to get pregnant, but time to stop trying not to get pregnant.

Two months later*, I was wading through a sea of first-trimester exhaustion, and Eric was learning just how emotional this girl that he married could be. Seven and-and-a-half months after that, Heather had arrived.

To say that we were nervous about parenthood would be the ultimate understatement. Those eight-and-a-half months were full of worry for both Eric and I. We worried that we'd mess up, that we wouldn't be able to provide for our daughter, that we'd be poor parents, and (although I hate to admit it) that we'd find ourselves unfulfilled and unhappy, mourning our carefree childless days.

Through all that time though, there were occasional glimmers, if you will, flashes of inspiration and comfort that helped me to know that we were on a good track and that we wouldn't be left alone. In particular I remember one time that I had one specific realization. It wasn't rocket science or anything, but it made a big difference to me.

I realized that as I looked back over my life, there hadn't been a single time when I had been obedient to the commandments of the Lord, and then regretted it.

Not a single time.

I took faith in that, and reasoned that surely, this wouldn't be the exception to that pattern.

It wasn't.

In fact, the decision Eric and I made to make it possible for Heather to come into our family has turned out to be quite possibly the most rewarding decision we've ever made together.

Talk about cups running over.

*We were lucky. Many couples wait much longer for the blessing that was essentially handed to us right off the bat.

As long as I'm writing an asterisked note, I'll take the opportunity to say that in writing this post, it is my intention to share our experience, NOT to pass judgement on the experiences, circumstances, or decisions of any other person or couple. Parenthood is a very personal thing, and the accompanying decisions are, in my opinion, best made by the (potential) parents and the Lord.

(For more of my writings along this line, click on the label "Family Proclamation" on the sidebar. I've written about the Proclamation on the Family a few times before, and I'm planning to write about it from time to time for the next little while.)


Jake said...

I like this post... a lot.

Tasha said...

My favorite part of this fantastic post was the second paragraph after the asterick. In fact, if I was in the tshirt or bumper sticker making business, this just might be the one I would make.

Nathan Corry said...

That's great, and I like the pun near the end. Tending to Heidi's needs has given me a whole new understanding of the word parent.

Darla said...

That picture with her tongue out...that is so Charlotte! Too cute!

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