Friday, January 23, 2009

Manna Every Day

So, you remember the Children of Israel? Remember how they had to wander in the wilderness for 40 years? Remember how the Lord took care of feeding them? Every day except for Sunday, He would cause this bread-like stuff (called manna) to come falling down out of the sky. The Israelites could just go out and pick it up off the ground, eat it, and go on with their wanderings. On Saturdays they would pick up enough to last them through Sunday. But, here's the thing: Say it's a Tuesday and one of them wants to pick up a little extra, just in case God decides not to let it fall on Wednesday. So, this person goes out and gathers up a double portion. No dice. The extra manna spoils before he can eat it. Only on Saturdays does the manna last the extra day without getting spoiled and inedible.

* * *

Heather recently passed the "I'll sit here in my seat all day and alternate between staring at you in adoration and sleeping" stage. Mostly I'm glad--she's so much more fun now, and it is a genuine pleasure to play with her and see her eyes light up and hear her giggles. However, the days that she's in the office with me have become quite a bit more challenging, to say the least (the days that I work from home are still fine--there's more to keep her entertained, and I can better budget my time around her needs).

So, without going into it all too much, last Friday we reached an all-time frustration high, and today was only slightly better. When it's hard like that, I get kind of panicky and overwhelmed, worrying that I'm not going to be able to keep up with my responsibilities at work, and stressing over the possible consequences if I don't. Then if I'm not careful, I can let my imagination run away with me until everything looks bleaker than bleak.

Last Saturday I was trying to prevent the runaway imagination from taking over, and I started thinking over some of the facets of the situation. As I looked back over the past 4 months, I realized that I had yet to experience a day when I wasn't able to accomplish all the things that I absolutely needed to accomplish, either at work or at home. There were many days that I wasn't able to accomplish all that I wanted to do, or all that it would be nice for me to do, but as far as the things that I really needed to get done, I was able to do them all. Furthermore, as I looked over some of those days individually, I realized that me being able to fulfill all that I needed to in spite of the complications that were presented was nothing short of miraculous. It may sound over-the-top, but I firmly believe that there have been days when angels have been surrounding me, helping me to be smarter than I am, more efficient than I am, and more patient than I am.

* * *

I still worry. On the days (most of them) when I get the "have-to" stuff done, but not the "it-sure-would-be-nice-to" stuff done, I have to fight myself from panicking, worrying about what I'll do if the other stuff becomes "have-to" at a time when Heather is uncooperative, the angels don't show up, and I'm left to fend for myself with my own semi-meager abilities.

And then I take a deep breath (or six), and say a silent prayer.

God provided for His Israelites every day. When I'm calm and not panicky, I remember that He will do the same for me.

Sometimes, it all comes down to faith, doesn't it?

Aside from today being a little rough, we're all good. Tonight Prince Eric and I are headed out for a night on the town, and Heather is headed for an evening of being loved and spoiled by Aunt Donna and Uncle Steve. Rough day notwithstanding, it's pretty hard for me to get too upset about anything when I've got that on the horizon.



Tasha said...

You learned the I-have-to vs the I-want-to lesson MUCH faster than I did, and since then - I'm pretty much a master which is why my dishes are often done a day or two after they should be and clothes are in the waiting to be folded pile longer than I'd like. Oh well, I doubt many die wishing they had gotten to the dishes and laundry sooner, right?

Jake said...

I'm pretty sure most women (or at least women who are primary care givers) struggle with this. Melissa and I have had many a conversation concerning her "lack of productivity" as she calls it. I'm sure you will receive much empathy (or is it sympathy when someone understands because they've been there) from your peeps in the coming days.

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