Thursday, September 04, 2008

Yeah, perhaps I should have asked about this nine months ago.


Scene: The bedroom. Charlotte and Eric are kneeling by the bed, getting ready to say their evening prayers. As is often the case, they get started on a conversation before they get around to praying. (Please don't ask me why we do this. It invariably leads to me having sore knees and completely numb legs. Yet, we continue on, starting conversations while kneeling by the bed. I wish I could say that it is all Eric's doing, but alas, I start them at least as often as he does)

Eric: So, when we get this baby, how are we going to work the whole diaper change thing? Are we going to take turns?

Charlotte (with a teasing gleam in her eye): Actually, I was thinking that you would be changing them all.

Eric: Oh, right, of course!

Charlotte: Seriously though, yeah, I guess we'll take turns. I haven't given it much thought, honestly. Why? What do you think?

Eric: Oh nothing, that will be fine. It's just that . . .

Pause. Charlotte patiently waits for Eric to finish his statement in spite of the fact that she's being eaten up with curiosity.

Eric: Well, I've only changed one diaper in my whole life.

Charlotte (incredulously): WHAT?? Are you KIDDING ME?? One diaper?

Eric (somewhat proudly): Yup.

Charlotte: When?

Eric: When I was babysitting. I was fourteen.

Charlotte (doing the math in her head): So, you haven't changed a diaper in nearly twenty-two years?

Eric: I guess not.

Charlotte (chuckling softly): Oh my friend, things are a changin' for you!

The conversation drifts on to other things including the fact that while Charlotte doesn't mind changing diapers so much, she's dreading the day that they have a toddler who gets the stomach flu and vomits all over the bed or something like that. This then results in a very long conversation about many of the different experiences that either Charlotte or Eric have had or heard about involving children and upset stomachs and the inevitable results therefrom. We will spare our kind readers from the gruesome details, and end the scene at this point.

(In case you are wondering, we did end up saying our family prayer eventually.)


Anonymous said...

Ah, turn taking. I would try and describe Jacob and I's method but I doubt there would be room in the comment section. Here's hoping you have a better memory than mine of whos turn it actually is :)

Jake said...

I'll tell you our awesome system. We take turns, however, if the diaper change occurs when only one parent is at home or at church, etc it doesn't count in the turn tally. This works out very well for me and sometimes I can go weeks without changing a diaper. The rule only applies for number 2 diapers. If the diaper is especially bad or early we sometimes make desparate trades that result in having to change 3 or more diapers in a row.

On the subject of vomit you should do your best to keep your child from eating dirt in the garden especially if your neighbors have pets. Giardia is a horrible thing that results in vomit everywhere (One time I remember it being so bad that both Melissa and I got nauseous and joined in the plooking party).

Laura said...

I see some solid negotiations in your future. You could trade some "poopy diaper" duty for "vomit duty"...There's all types of ways this could play out.

(Sidenote: I would love a briefing about the Mormon faith and "food storage." I find it very interesting and I like learning about other religions. I think I get it...but if you want to post a Mormon for Dummies...I would find it fascintating. The Mormon Temple is right by our house. Seriously, it's like 1.5 miles away.

Charlotte said...


I LOVE that temple. When I was 12 years old my grandparents served a mission in Washington DC. They asked me if I wanted them to bring me back anything, and all I wanted was a picture of that temple. They sent me a postcard (and they sent my parents a much larger picture for our whole family), and I kept it in a frame in my room for years and years. That same postcard is actually still on my wall, in a collage of LDS temple pictures that I keep.

I'll put "post a "Mormon for Dummies" post on my list. With the baby, it may take me a while to get it up, but I'll definitely do it!

melissa c said...

That was too cute. It's so nice having a man around who will help with this sort of thing. I know men who absolutely refuse to change a diaper. Even one that isn't poopy.

I guess they think that's women's work!

Be glad you have a good one!

michellejohnnie said...

Welcome to fatherhood Eric. You are in for some good times ahead!!!

amy greenway said...

I distinctly remember another diaper changing occasion of Eric's. My mom and I were going to exercise and Dad and Eric were home. They were watching Nate. He was tiny and I think he was sleeping when we left. When we got home we heard the whole story twice. Apparently Nate pooped and Dad and Eric did a "keystone kops" version of diaper changing. I think commands were shouted and blood vessels were popped. Major production. I recall my mom and I rolling our eyes and being unsympathetic, but entertained.

Anonymous said...

A response from an old sage.

I didn't change very many diapers, but I did clean up all the upchuck. It was do that or clean it up twice.

Scott Packer

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