Wednesday, January 03, 2007

the dress dilemma

Well, we're only a few days into our "wedding planning in earnest" period, and already we've made changes.

When I was a little girl, I had all the wedding dreams that you would imagine--big dress, beautiful cake, my best girlfriends in matching (teal) dresses shaking hand after hand at a lavish reception, etc., etc., etc.

However, as it started looking like I would probably get married later in life, I determined that a reception really wasn't all that exciting (a lot of standing in line, shaking hands of people, many of whom are closer to your parents than they are to you), that big dresses were hard to manage, and that there was probably no dress in existence that would be flattering to all of my best girlfriends.

So, my dream wedding turned into something more simple. A nice temple ceremony, a luncheon for my closest friends and family, and then my handsome husband and I running off to our glorious honeymoon. In other words, no reception, no cake, no big dress, and no bridesmaids.

That's pretty much what we have now, except that we've determined that we will have a casual reception/celebration/party, which will probably take place the night before we get married. The reason for this is simply that there are more people who are interested in Eric and I and our marriage than either of us previously imagined. Since we can't invite them all to the temple (the sealing room only holds 55 people), and realistically can't fit them all into one room at the same time for a luncheon, we've determined to invite them to join us for pie and good times on the night before the big day.

So, still no bridesmaids. Probably no cake either. I'm trying to decide for sure when and where I will wear the dress. Obviously at the wedding and for the pictures outside the temple afterward. Probably not for the luncheon. As to the reception, I'm not sure. It seems weird to wear the dress the day before the wedding, you know? Also, if we're having a casual reception, then nothing screams anti-casual like having the bride (to be) in a beaded gown and veil, you know? And yet, I like the dress and I feel pretty in it. Huh. What to do?

Eric's hoping I'll choose not to wear the dress, for the simple reason that if I'm in the dress, he'll have to be more dressed up than he would choose of his own accord. Of course, he's willing to do whatever will make me happy. So, I suppose I'll have to figure out what will make me happy huh?

Speaking of Eric, what an affable man he is. How long after our marriage do you think I'll be able to maintain him in his current state of being wrapped around my little finger?

Here's hoping it will be years and years and years.



Jeri said...

MY OPINION: (and you know the rule, "opinions not necessarily accepted") Get lots (and lots) of pictures taken of you in THE DRESS - and have those on display at the casual reception. I think you'll be able to be more relaxed and bop around visiting with everyone if you aren't encumbered with the big dress.

As for how long you can keep him wrapped around your finger after the wedding? About 2 years ago (when my own marriage was "fine" but felt rather "blah") I read the book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" by Dr. Laura and according to her book (and accoring to my own personal experience in applying the principles therein) if you treat Eric right (meaning giving lots and lots of appreciation, admiration, and love) he will ALWAYS be willing to "swim through shark infested waters to bring you a lemonade." Men are very simple. (If you want the book - let me know, it would make it easy to buy you a wedding gift...)

Have fun with the planning - you only do this once in your life - make it YOUR day!

Love YA!

Jeri said...

I'm still thinking about this - even though I already sent my "opinion."

I might wear the dress anyway - I remember how fun it was to feel so "princess like" and beautiful. My opinion is still the same; that it make "more sense" to dress casual... but for crying out loud - you're getting married... who needs to "make sense."

Now that I have been absolutely no help at all - except in maybe re-emphasising that you have a dilema - have a great day:)

melissa c said...

Hi Jeri!!! IS that YOU???? I would love to hear from you! Come visit my blog any time!

Back to Charlotte. DEFINATLY wear your dress. You only get to ONE time ! It is wonderful to feel so beautiful for one day.

Now I know I am probably not your closest friend but I want to see you in it! I want to be there and celebrate with you as much as possible!

I would go for a cake too. Yea, they cost but they are beautiful and taste wonderful. Plus you get to keep the top to eat on your one year anniversary.

I admit, I am pretty traditional. I like tradition. I don't care much for bridesmaids though. I just had my sisters for that.

My Mom was really sick at the time we were planning mine and then died 2 weeks before it. Be patient with yours if she wants to help and give advice. That is what they are for. I dream of planning Heidi's wedding with her. I hope she doesn't hate all my ideas!

Good luck with it all and I better get an invitation or I WILL hunt you down!

Harmony said...

Wear the dress and get the Dr. Laura book--it's good. My two cents...

Charlotte said...

Thanks for all the advice. Melissa-I think the address I have for you is old--you aren't still in Brigham City, are you? That's the last mailing address I have for you.

As for Jeri and Harmony--I'll wait to get the book until I have a husband (so if you WANT to get it for a wedding present, well, I can't say I would mind that at all :) As to the dress, I suppose we'll see. I wasn't originally planning on having bridal photos taken, but I've waffled back and forth on that a few times as well. So, who knows how it will all end up?

Fortunately I have the temple reserved, and I'm marrying Eric. Those are the two most important things to me. Everything else is pretty much negotiable at this point.

Anonymous said...

Hey Charlotte. Just some thoughts. My two cents.... My cousin reminded us when we were making wedding plans that it's more important to plan the marriage than to plan the wedding :-) You obviously know that already. That said... I have to say that I didn't think a reception would be all that great either. I got married older and figured, like you, that it would be a lot of standing around pretending to remember people that I didn't remember. Our reception however turned out to be such an amazingly wonderful thing! It was beautiful. Lots of good friends came from all over. Very very happy event. I loved being in the dress and playing the "beautiful princess" and I still love looking at pictures of the cake. That's my experience. I would definitely do the formal reception/cake thing. I didn't hardly notice the food or entertainment at the reception. For us that turned out to be more for the family and friends. Everyone is different though. Again, the wedding isn't nearly as important as the marriage. Good luck in your decisions!
-- Michelle D.

melissa c said...

Hi there! Yes, I am still at the Brigham address! See ya!

Dishboy said...

Did you show Eric the dress while you were in Cedar? If not then I say don't wear it the night before because you will most likely never forget the look on his face when he first sees you in your wedding dress.

If you did show him the dress that's okay too.

Oh, and don't bother with these books for I can surely give you all the good advice you will ever need. It's really good advice too just ask me and I'll tell you.

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